On My Own
by caoguibo
Summary: "Since then, I've made it here on my own...doing things my way." Onesided Soulsilvershipping, implied Trickyshipping. Oneshot. Based on Pokemon Generations Episode 5 and the song of the same name. Warning: Very angsty, no happy ending.


**On My Own**

 **by:** caoguibo/chwangingwithkyuhyun

 _Simultaneously posted on FFN and AO3_

 **Inspired by:** Pokemon Generations Episode 5 and the song On My Own (KR version) by Amber Liu ft. Gen Neo

(and, like the song, the fic is quite angsty and feelsy. there's also no happy ending.)

 **Pairing:** onesided Soulsilver (Lyra/Kotone/Geumseon x Silver/Shirubaa/Eundong) with hinted Tricky (Lyra/Kotone/Geumseon x Lance/Wataru/Mokho)

 **AU Note:** _SLIGHT_ \- Looker/Hansom is not the Interpol agent that Silver talks to, unlike in the actual episode. In addition, the Celebi event is incorporated into this.

 **Other Notes:** A long time ago, I promised LizHollow I'd write her a soulsilver fic. Here it is, my friend! ~

* * *

 _The last time I saw him was three years ago._

* * *

He wouldn't stop walking, so I followed him all the way out of the house, to the very edge of Viridian. When I finally caught up to him, out of breath, I yelled at him.

"Father!"

He turned around slightly, but made no sound. I expected he knew it was me, so I continued.

"You're leaving? You're running away just because you lost to a couple of trainers?!"

Usually, my father would retort back just as angrily. But not today.

What changed?

"What changed?! Y-you said you were the strongest in the whole wide world!"

His jaw twitched before he finally spoke.

"You can't move forward until you are able to accept defeat...in order to create a stronger organisation, I need to be alone now."

My father had never made me this angry before. He never said anything about his plans this way before, either.

Why was my father, the kind of guy who would sneer at little children, overreacting to losing against a little kid?

"S-so what if you're strong! You can gather as many people as you want, but you can still lose to a little kid!-"

He interrupted me again. "Gathering a large group of people to work together will create a great source of strength...that's the power of organisation."

"However...I failed to utilise my men to the fullest potential."

He looked down at the ground, before clenching an open, gloved hand. The same hands he used to give himself and my family power...but now, all of it was gone. I thought I would lose everything that day.

But the next thing he said infuriated me so much, that I couldn't believe he was my own father. Team Rocket was an organisation that did horrible things to Pokemon...was my father really the person behind it all?

"One day, I promise, I will revive Team Rocket!"

It could not be. Team Rocket was the organisation that had been causing trouble all over the city. It was all over the news: the young boy who kept stores open and kept other trainers safe.

Had he been who my father had lost to?

I couldn't think suddenly.

"I don't get it! I don't understand what you're saying at all!"

"One day, you'll understand."

I screamed at him in fury.

"I don't want to understand! I-I'm not going to be anything like you! Acting all high and mighty just because you've gathered up a bunch of followers? Even though you're weak on your own…"

"I"M NEVER GOING TO BE ANYTHING LIKE THAT! I'm going to be strong ALL ON MY OWN!"

I ran, as far away from my father as I could, tears in my eyes.

* * *

At some point, my foot slipped, and tripped over someone else's. I fell to the ground, surprised. When I turned around and saw this older kid staring, I glared.

"What are you staring at, you punk?"

It was like she couldn't believe I spoke. She apologised and then ran off, calling after someone named "Ethan" repeatedly.

I couldn't really do anything but cry. I was only nine. Motherless, and now parentless.

But I had to be strong.

I didn't want to be the son of a weak criminal.

That day, I decided to do things my way. The strong way.

The hard way.

* * *

"That was the last time I ever saw my old man," I sighed.

"Since then, I've made it here, on my own….doing things my way, together with my Pokemon."

I had said the same thing to myself minutes earlier, but something about this was different, saying "together with my Pokemon".

I looked at the Pokeball I was holding in front of me. It could have been the one with Golbat in it, or Feraligatr, or Sneasel. It didn't really matter. They were all strong. I made it so that no matter what, they would be strong enough for the League.

And if I won, I didn't have to think of my father anymore. I was the strongest. Not him.

But were we together?

For a second, Lyra crossed my mind. The words she said. That I didn't "love" my Pokemon, and that was why I would never beat her, never make it to the League, never be Champion.

Never be strong.

But my thoughts were interrupted by the man in the brown coat, the Interpol agent who had stopped me and asked me about my father.

"So you were about to challenge the Pokemon League."

I nodded, then stepped aside, ready to make my way up the stairs.

"If you hear anything about your father, would you give me a call?"

For a moment I thought about telling the man the direction he went past Viridian, three years ago, the last time I saw him. To turn my father in, make him pay revenge, for being such a weakling as an adult.

But I hesitated. The League was far more important.

"I don't know," I finally said. "I've made the choice to stay out of my old man's affairs. Likely, he's doing the same thing."

"Besides," and I stopped to look back at the man once more, "it's your job to find him."

I smirked, and walked up the stairs.

If everything went well, I could finally forget that he ever existed.

* * *

I didn't expect her to be there already.

But I walked through the doors, and there she was.

Her back was turned, and she was slowly climbing the stairs.

Lyra.

For a minute, I couldn't think and just called out to her.

"Hold it right there!"

"Oh, hi, Silver," she said, eyes widening. "You're seriously not going to beg me for a battle, when I'm about to challenge five of the strongest trainers around?"

I could not move.

"Do you want to battle or not?"

I finally shrugged and smirked. "Bring it on. I challenge you, to a full-on battle!"

"Prepare to lose - again."

* * *

There was one thing Lyra liked to do, every time I lost a Pokemon. She didn't sneer, or smirk, like my father did, whenever I couldn't be the kind of son he wanted.

She criticised me.

Sneasel went down.

"Your Sneasel can't handle the heat, even though you forced her into hot temperatures...what kind of training is that?"

Golbat went down.

"Did you fly on this guy when you got here? Is that why he wouldn't listen to you?"

Then Magneton.

"I never thought that Silver, of all people, would forget that I've had Quaggy by my side since I caught it as a Wooper..."

"It's not just about pure fucking strategy, Lyra," I spat in frustration.

I wanted to win. Not put up with her comments.

I had never seen her like this before.

* * *

Kadabra went down soon after. I had trained it so that it could throw a curveball at Lyra. She never taught any of her Pokemon status modifying moves, or anything of the sort, and I could tell she had little experience with them anyways.

But it still went down. Haunter, too.

"Disable my Umbreon all you want. He's still faster than you. I trained him to last long."

"It hasn't been here with me for long! I only caught it because I thought-"

"That it would be another weapon? I know how you train your team, Silver. Lance told me everything."

I gritted my teeth. Lance. Lyra always mentioned him, ever since I had last seen her, at the Radio Tower, during the occupation.

It was too easy to tell that she liked him.

* * *

 _"I swear to Arceus, one day, I'll find that Lance guy and I will challenge him to a battle. And he'll be going down!"_

 _Lyra had laughed. "Why? Did you actually challenge him to a Pokemon battle, Silver?"_

 _"He wouldn't let me. He said I'd lose on the spot."_

 _What I didn't want to tell her, was that he had told me other things. Things that I hated to hear. Things that made me look weak._

 _"If you can't treat your Pokemon kindly, if you can't treat them the way Lyra does - you'll never be anywhere close to strong. And you'll definitely never get to challenge me."_

 _I didn't want to look weak._

* * *

Feraligatr, my last stand. Down in just one hit.

"What the hell!" I screamed.

"I guess Lance was right about what he said. That you don't know how to care for your team."

"Let's go, Amphy," Lyra muttered softly, as she recalled her Ampharos, and began to turn away.

"I thought helping me out at the Radio Tower would have made you think there was a better way to be strong."

"That's all you have to say?!"

I had been pushed to the lowest of the low, and even Lyra was not going to do anything about it. What changed?

"You're no different from my fucking father! You're such a horrible rival, you don't have anything to say to me? Acting like you have it all, just because you have the upper hand, because you treat your Pokemon with love," I nearly spat. "I hope I never see you again!"

I began to run away, through the building, but Lyra called out to me and stopped me.

"Silver!"

I turned around and glared. "What do you want now? Leave me alone!"

"I guess you really don't care about whether I win this League Challenge or not, then. At least Lance does. He thinks I can make it and face him on my own. Now I know why he doesn't think you can."

I didn't realise that I had mentioned my weakling father to Lyra, until I was outside of the League, down the steps, and my body slammed into one of the statues.

I cried.

 _I was such a coward..._

* * *

I didn't stop crying. _I couldn't stop crying._

Maybe what Lance and Lyra had told me was true. That my way was wrong. That I couldn't get stronger on my own.

 _Maybe what my father had said to me those years ago was right._

* * *

"Silver? Why are you still here?"

I looked up to see Lyra peering over my face with concern. I clenched my fists.

"Leave me alone! What are _you_ doing here?"

"I just wanted to tell you that...I won."

* * *

"When Lance recorded my data into the Hall of Fame Registry...he told me everything he knew about you, and everything he could sense, from you."

"What does that matter? It's not like I'm the Champion," I said.

"He told me that what I was thinking the whole time I knew you was true."

"What do you even mean, Lyra? It's not like you care."

"He told me I have to care!"

Lyra looked at me in the eye, tears streaming down her face.

"Listen to me, Silver. I might have feelings for Lance, and he might be feeling the same way too, but it doesn't mean I don't care about you any less than before."

I bit my lip. What did she mean? She had never cared for me at all. Each time we battled, she treated me as almost inferior to her. I did the same.

"I know who you are, and what you are."

* * *

There was no way she could have known.

But she did.

"When Ethan and I reached the Ilex Forest, I came across a shrine. And I didn't think it would happen, but the great Celebi appeared right in front of us."

"I knew that Celebi was this shrine's deity, I read about it in school. But I didn't expect it to actually appear at all. Celebi is a Pokemon you only hear about in the myths, after all..."

"And the next thing I knew, we weren't in Johto anymore. I didn't even know where we were, but what I remember seeing, was a tall man dressed all in black, and a redhead boy screaming at him."

"T-that..."

 _That was me._

Lyra was the person I had bumped into, three years ago, when my father abandoned me and I had run away.

She had gone back in time.

* * *

"Your dad was a horrible man, Silver. I'm really sorry you had to live with him."

I glared at her again, and her face crumbled into sadness.

"He was more than horrible. He was a fucking coward! He thought he was the strongest in the whole world - but he still lost to a ten year old kid!" I cried.

"And he must have taught you to raise Pokemon the wrong way, too..." Lyra muttered.

 _Is there even a right way or a wrong way anymore?_

Lyra stood up. "But you don't have to turn out like him."

I looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"If you don't love your Pokemon, if you don't love yourself...you'll never feel good about anything you do. You'll never make it to the top, because you can't handle the pressure of trying to make it to the top."

"Your Pokemon are not weak. But you ignored their good sides and chose to only focus on what they couldn't do, rather than what they could. Your Golbat could have easily become a Crobat, if you gave it encouragement after every loss you experienced. And you could own a Weavile one day - you could have battled me with one earlier - but you only caught it because you needed something to attack my disadvantages. That's why it couldn't last against Typhy."

"I have to go back in the League soon; Lance is expecting me. We have a ceremony to plan. If you want, you can come and join the party. But before I go in, I want to tell you something."

"Next time you battle me, don't come at me with negative feelings. Battle me with a positive heart. I want to see you with a Crobat and a Weavile when I see you next. Hopefully, I'll lose."

"I hope you do come to the ceremony tomorrow, Silver. Good night!"

Lyra turned away, and walked back up the stairs, into the building.

And I broke down.


End file.
